We all have dealt with
crisis in our lives. You know…you are
headed out to church and your one year old tries to grab a toy off the floor of
the car as you are trying to buckle them into the car seat and he falls out of
the van onto the driveway and breaks a wrist.
Or you are driving to the grocery store and someone pulls out in front
of you and you T-Bone them. Or you wake
up on a wintery night to find that the power is out and you have no way to heat
your home or apartment, you have no candles and the one flashlight you have has
batteries that will last 10 minutes, but you can’t find that in the dark. Or there are three attacks on your country in
one day for the first time since 1812.
Or what if you find that your parent has Alzheimer’s and will be living
with you until God takes him home, and you still have a family to raise and a
job outside the home?
These
things need immediate attention maybe even for a month or so and then, for the
most part, life returns to normal. But
what if, like us in our family, your firstborn has a birth defect that will
ultimately change the course of his life and yours for the rest of your lives? Or your husband has structural problems and
finds himself disabled for the most part of your child raising years and can’t
work and in the meantime, your firstborn has to go 35 miles away three times a
week for an 8 hour medical treatment, you have two others younger than him that
need your care, and Grandma has chronic heart trouble and needs your assistance
as well?
I remember when I was
in such a situation and was in counseling with my pastor. I said something like, “Well Pastor, when my
life gets back to normal…” And he blew
me away when he said, “Timi, what if this IS normal for you? You can’t live your life in the future. You have to deal with life in the present and
be thankful to God in THAT.” That was
not only a scary awakening, but also was a turning point in my life.
I have found that for
the most part, we humans like ease and have very unrealistic expectations of
what our lives should be like. If we
could list our wishes they would look something like this:
·
No sickness
·
No monetary problems
·
No relational conflicts
·
No wars
·
No loneliness
·
Always a good night’s sleep
·
To have everything we have to work
perfectly for our lifetime and if something does break, to have a service
person there on the spot to fix it and charge me nothing for the trouble.
In Heaven it will be like that, but not here! Not in our fallen world! So what do we do in the here and now that
will still bring glory to God?
I
have found that if you are experiencing a crisis, people flood in to help, pray
for you, bring you meals, etc. If your
crisis becomes chronic, folks just don’t know what to do so they do nothing and
you are left alone to go through the months of trial by yourself.
We
have two choices in that situation:
·
We can complain and fall into the deep
pit of self pity and despair
·
We can accept God’s GIFT of suffering
and offer it up to him as a sacrifice of PRAISE.
I will never forget when I heard Elizabeth Elliott
say that on one of her “Gateway to
Joy” programs in the 1980s! What a
concept! A sacrifice of PRAISE!
I
remember in another conversation with our pastor’s wife. She said that God was using our family to
teach the congregation how to minister to the “chronics” in the church. You know, it is really funny sometimes how
the Lord speaks those little pearls into your life through his people.
I
remember reading a book by Leman Strauss called “In God’s Waiting Room”. It is a treatise on Romans 8:28 that he wrote
when his wife had a debilitating stroke.
There was a lot of good information in that little book and it is now
out of print, which is very sad because I gave my copy away, but the one
paragraph that struck me and stays with me to this day went something like:
I
found that I was face to face with my misunderstanding of the sovereignty of
God. I finally realized that He has the
right to do: whatever He pleases, to whomever He pleases, for as long as He
pleases, wherever He pleases, to accomplish what He pleases. And what He pleases is ALWAYS THE BEST AND
THE MOST LOVING!
I pondered that for a
long time (especially the “most loving” part). I came to realize that I had been trying to
rescue everybody…to get them out of the trouble that they were in so that their
life could be hunky dory again…NORMAL! I
was working against God and HIS purposes for them and me and had to
repent. I had to re-adjust my
EXPECTATIONS.
It was about that time
that I found that my twin sister had cancer that was incurable and untreatable
at the time. God’s timing is
perfect! I was able to share that with
her husband as well.
I caa’t remember who said it, but a dear friend told me one
time, “Why do you think you all should be different? God didn’t allow His perfect son to go
through this life without suffering, (Isaiah 53) why do you think that you
deserve to?” Yes, “faithful are the
wounds of a friend!” Proverbs 27:6
In studying in the scriptures, I was confronted with the
concept that nothing comes into our lives without the Father’s approval. All he allows is for the purpose of making us
into the image of His Son. So like the
Israelites in the desert, if I complain and moan and groan over my
circumstances, I am truly stating and am believing that God is not good and
that He is withholding His best for me.
What blaspheme! If that does not
drive you to your knees, not much will.
Next time you see an
absolutely beautiful sunset or sunrise look closely. The reason you see the wonderful colors and
great beauty is because there are dark clouds in the sky that are reflecting
the sun’s brilliance. On nice cloudless
days, you will not see the bright vibrant colors. It is the same with our lives…if the Lord
didn’t allow clouds into our lives, there would be nothing that would reflect
God’s glory.
So, how do you bring
glory to God in the “Chronics” of life?
Here are a list of
things you can put on your fridge, in your Bible, by your basket of medications
you have to take four times a day, or wherever you need to remind yourself:
1.
Keep
your eyes upon Jesus not on your circumstances!
2. Stay in His Word
everyday…even if you have to have someone read
it to you. That is where your strength
comes from. If no one can do that,
listen to Christian radio. I can’t tell
you all of the encouragement and wisdom I drew from Charles Stanley, Chuck
Swindoll, J Vernon Magee, and John McArthur and Christian music while I was
doing dishes, laundry, and preparing meals!
3. Refuse to feel sorry
for yourself, the one you are caring for, or the ones who are caring for you. I had a wonderful young friend that found he
had terminal cancer. He told his wife,
“We are going to have lots of parties, but none of them are going to be pity
parties!”
4. Realize that your
disease, hardship, injury, or handicap does NOT determine WHO you are and
cannot diminish your worth! A very wise physician told us when Lance was
a toddler that we could make an invalid of him or allow him to live a normal
life even though he had some struggles to go through.
5. LOVE the people you are
caring for or who are caring for you unconditionally. Everyone gets weary and falls short of others
expectations.
6.
Don’t
complain…PRAISE and be THANKFUL!
7. Choose Joy!
A very dear friend in his 20s was diagnosed with a
cancer that could take his life, or at best keep him from being the husband and
father he had always dreamed of being.
Whenever I saw him, he always had a smile on his face and a hug for me,
asking how my family and I were doing. I
asked him one time why. He said that
each day when he awoke, he had to make a choice to despair or to choose
joy. He always chose joy!
8. Refuse to rehearse your
dilemma. The more you reiterate what you are,
have been, going through the more you are prone to fall into self pity. If folks ask…ask them to just pray…God will
know what for.
9. Spend time praying for
others not dwelling on your own problems. I remember one of the best salves for my soul
when Lance would be in the hospital for weeks at a time was that I would pray
for those around him that were suffering too.
There is almost always someone worse off than you are that needs your
prayers.
10. Give, and Give some more without
expecting anything in return! Encourage others everyday. Give a smile, a word of hope, a pertinent
Bible promise, a hug, a song…whatever God gives you.
11. Don’t get wrapped up in yourself. Pain and sickness can do that to you in a
heartbeat. It is one of Satan’s prize
temptations.
12. Don’t draw away from people. When Chris, my twin, was very sick and had
just wisps of hair left and looked like “death warmed over”, she said, “If you
expect sick folks to look like a model then you should stay away…but if you are
not coming to judge my beauty, please come and sit awhile even if I can’t talk
or respond…the company is nice and is always an encouragement.”
13.
Don’t assume that you have sinned and that is
why you are undergoing this trial! Read Job!
14.
Praise
God in the good times and be thankful for them.
Don’t EVER take them for granted. If you have to think on anything, memorize Philippians 4:4-9
“Always be full of joy
in the Lord. I say it again--rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate
in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything;
instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all
he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more
wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts
and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters let
me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true
and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and
admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep
putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me
doing, and the God of peace will be with you.”
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